Sunday, April 22, 2007

Endgame? Maybe not...

This entry is my take on the protests of the 25th of March that Sam blogged about.
Though i cannot speak for sam or 'those people' i can at least very quickly tell you about my experience.

This post is not a reply to any particular argument as much as it is the stream of thoughts and recollections of the protest instigated by the posted arguments.

The protest of the 25th was one of my most frustrating experiences ever, not really because of what happened in the protest ad ma that i myself felt completely un-represented, and not by anyone but myself. I went to express my frustration and anger at the constitutional changes but found myself thinking and battling a million other things that were completely unrelated.

As angry as i lef the whole thing, there were a few powerfully bright moments for me during the mozahra.

The first is that the first time i was shoved, there were three of us girls and whilst each reacted by shoving back very angrily, what i would have done before, i found myself in a 'how could you do this to me' confrontation, and i was genuinely genuinely hurt..
he had done nothing but push, but for some reason my reaction was that of a hurt 18-year old, and not a person that had seen and almost experienced this several times before. And for some reason, perhaps that i looked genuinely upset and not angry, the man spread his arms out as if to show he wasn't going to do anything, apologized and asked me to give him another choice.

At a later point in the mozahra, and with more conversations with the soldiers , not only did i feel 'tawasul' benna we benhom for the very first time, (at least for me) but they were reactive, and even PROTECTIVE at several points.. and this, to me, was HUGE!
At another teary point, i started asking how he could look at us and treat us in a way and not imagine someone doing the same to a sister or mother and they said 'wallahi, e7na ghalaaba, law ta3rafy benet2ezzey fel mawaqef dee ad eyh.. law bas ta3rafy..'

This is something i had always told myself 'they only hurt because they have to' but it was different to hear it from them.

At any rate, we some-how reached the point after conversing at such to lay out common fears.. not only did they let us stand in particular places, they told us when to leave or step back when they feared the zobaat or notorious plain-clothed footmen were coming. Once again i could be naiive, but i FELT genuine concern.

In Iran right before the revolution, the movement members, and particularly students in early 79 would take clothes with them to the mozahrat, and pull soldiers from the barraks into the crowds and dress them in normal clothes so they could escape in camouflage. And there was a considerable rate of desertion in that period, to the extent that higher ranks stopped sending soldiers of the barracks into the streets. They were increasing the mozahra in number.

In checkslovakia in the 80s i think, it was similar - the students collaberated with the soldiers so that they gave the soviet invaders wrong directions and helped confused them.

The difference between Egypt and both these cases is that there was always someone in these crowds who knew or was related to a soldier. That is where our divide is an issue. We come from different worlds. This was particularly clear in the autrocities of May 2005 - the NDP hired thugs, could not at all relate to the girls they attacked. There was no reasoning, they were somehow turned against us in hate.

In 2004 when i first started talking to people around the protests, the attitude was always fe3lan 'what are they doing' - 'why are they doing this..' - 'what is their problem with mubarak - da katar kheyr el ragel..' and later on there was the 'da ba2alu 24 sanna men gheyr agaza' argument - this changed slowly over time, until now when you will notice that people in the street sometimes jump into protests and 3asaker sing along iwth us, and even sometimes call out the slogans absent-mindedly.

At another teary point, i started asking how he could look at us and treat us in a way and not imagine someone doing the same to a sister or mother and they said 'wallahi, e7na ghalaaba, law ta3rafy benet2ezzey fel mawaqef dee ad eyh.. law bas ta3rafy..' this is something i had always told myself 'they only hurt because they have to' but it was different to hear it from them.

At any rate, we some-how reached the point after conversing at such to lay out common fears.. not only did they let us stand in particular places, they told us when to leave or step back when they feared the zobaat or notorious plain-clothed footmen were coming. Once again i could be naiive, but i FELT genuine concern.

The cab driver i went home with, talked to me about the importance of mo2at3et el estefa2, and the very same thing happened to a friend of mine in another cab.

In the mozahra itself, after the arrests and as the rest of us were walking down from tal3at 7arb to the neqaba, several things happened.

A very old woman with her daughter stepped in, and the girl hooked her arms with mine, they asked if we were protesting increase in prices. I explained the constitution, but before i started to talk abotu certain articles, it turned out they already knew about a considerable few. They talked for a while, then the mother told ehr daughter if she knew so much, why wasn't she with us? Could we please come do this in alexandria?? The old woman said she herself would be out in daily protests if need be, if only she found peopel who thought like her.

What seperates her from them is fear, and a very long period of silence, that can be accounted to a variety of reasons.

A while earlier upon a confrontation with a soldier, a random person from the street interfered between the soldier and me and told him off big time. Seeing him do this, another random one stepped out from the crowd and asked me if he touched me, if he did, she would show him. What, the constitution, and kaman hurt their children?

A third incident is a young girl and a young man who stepped in and said they would shout out any slogans we wanted and say anythign we said, as long as they were inside the crowd. Could we take their numbers and call them? They were in university and watned to be part of the movment but most of their colleagues were too scared.

I was away when the ammendments were anounced to be ratified so early... i was informed as soon as i came back by my grandmother. She was furious. She is not necessarily aware of any contention, but she rarely misses an opportunity to practice her right to vote. The fact that they rushed the date as such, annoyed her (as it made it more difficult for her to plan to go vote) and made her very suspicious of all the rush. So she found the ammendments and read them.

The situation has changed so much. Changed in the sense that people have become so aware of what's happening, and also changed in the sense that the cost-benefit analysis no longer calls for el mashy gamb el 7eyt. I think a factor that has contributed to the change is partially attributable to the protests in the street. Mainly to the development of 'alternative' spaces. The protests being carried out in the streets, made anti-corruption and anti-regime slogans so popular that people feel so much more comfortable saying it. It's like they linger in the background and are safe to draw upon. That was two years ago. Now people can tell you how corruption in a particular department is direclty affecting his/her life. It is no logner unreachable and far away, nor is it mystified.

Also, the blogs, garayed el mo3arda have created spaces where all these issues are openly analyzed and tackled.. and so all of us have become aware. Most people have newspapers read to them, or read them themselves. There's also el 3asherra masa2an and el qaherra el yom and the other channels that more openly contest and condone.. all these spaces are accessable to a great number of people.

And finally there are these initiatives like ours.. THere is Fat'het Kheir and Nahdet el Mahrousa, and Resala and all the other initiatives where we have come together and tried to create a little space where we can live and practice life the way we believe it should be. We found no agency in teh public cirlces and created our own. ANd it is happening all over the country. Look at the 3omaal.. and the falla7een.. look at the movements breaking out all over the country.

I am not calling, nor am i insinuating anything as big as i know my tone and enthusiasm will. I know i am an optimist, but i can say at least , at the very least, things have changed.

There are more and more spaces we can 'all' pitch in into. No one can claim to represent anyone. The inherent flaw in teh concept of a democracy is that it cannot represent all, and manges always to marginalize those it does not speak for. When teh forefathers sat to write the first constitution 'democratically' they were white male landowners.. and i'm sure they weren't thinking of women, non-landowning, or even african americans as they scripted it. It just doesn't happen.

I was interviewing a leadership figure from the MB once and we were going through several issues of concern in terms of the laws with which they would rule, should they develop a poltiical agenda to rule. After a certain point, he waved his hands in frustration and bent over closer and said;
'Enty mesh lama tetweldy fe balad.. fe 7adara, betemshey 3ala qawaneen el balad dee..'
His argument was that you are born into a civilization or country and follow and abide by the rules and laws in that country. If they do not represent you, you might as well leave.

As creul as it sounded and as infuriated as i was, particularly that he waved any argument i made, having lost his patience... i could find sense in it later on.
Not because i believed in what he said, but because even 'democratic notions' as we preach of them are EX and not INCLUSIVE. Just saying 'we the people' 'na7nu el sha3b' means there is a we and a not we. We cannot all be spoken for.

Someone , also an outsider joined the protest and somehwere in the middle screamed in frustration, "FEYN EL SHA3B?!?!??!!"

E7na el sha3b. And we are so many.

1 comment:

Gold said...

We are the sha3b, and we are many..

Yet most of us carry the burden of placing food on the table for instance?

We both stand from quite a similar place, yet we are facing different directions (me and you I assume)..

You see, the thing is you are a product of your own environment, and you see the rest of the world THROUGH the glass that is created around you, ie: teh environment you live inside.

I am an employee, closely working with some governmental institutions on a number of projects that cost Millions of Dollars, not like the power projects that cost hundreds of Millions, but I've had my share of looking more into the details of how the generation in control now thinks, what are their priorities and what is their aim in this life..

If there is no corruption then there are personal defects that are causing the wheel of development to slow down down down (3 downs indeed), there are complexities in almost all aspects of "moving forward" with anything.. and then again I come to the realization and/or the conclusion that they all carry the burden of placing "X" on the table, every man for himself, abandon ship, Bob's your uncle, and we try to live happily ever after.

To move those volumes in the employment peninsula, you have to understand that they DO have a lot to lose. Those with enough intellect to understand what's going on and what it takes to fix it, are standing in quick sand, if they try to move they sink deeper, and the surprise is that they are sinking either way, but they don't know it..

What people naturally need is a lifeline.. throw me one and I'm your man.. but first just let me tell u that as a Middle-class human being, I have to secure my supermarket visit, the kids' schools, my car Maintenance fees as well as gas for it to get me moving. Also the rent or el 2est of my apartment, u know the landlord is raising the rent by the year..

I can't sacrifice my class because lower than that its humiliating, higher than that could be desired (could be), but I gotta have a plan, put it on paper, calculate the fees, and then i could consider the movement, the protest, mending things with enough patience, or do whatever u think is gonna fix this country.

Put the Middle-class in the cage, and then you have the higher hand.. release them, and see what happens.

Looking at things from a social point of view, being within the people who CAN do the change and trying to figure out what's keeping them from doing anything is in itself a way into making a plan to mend whatever is to be mended, if there is anything going to be mended after all..

Am I making any sense here?